Legacies

We are losing a generation. Several fathers of childhood friends and members of our church congregation, including my own father, have passed in recent months. Now that I am one of the next legacy-leavers, I’ve been reflecting on what my generation needs to learn from these men.

By their own acknowledgement, these were simple men. None claimed to be extraordinary in any way. They graduated high school and entered the military or workforce. They did not seek to acquire wealth, but strove to provide comfortably for their families: an honest day’s wage for an honest day’s work. A satisfying day was one that included a round of golf, a couple hours of fishing, watching their favorite college team on TV or, better yet, time spent with family.

These men did not seek power, but that does not mean they were not leaders. They led by example. Most were not comfortable in the spotlight; their words in private revealed their character. They would have been hard-pressed define love in so many words; it was exemplified by their attitudes and actions.

They were men of integrity. One of them was my car salesman for many years. (He often joked about car salesmen being near the top of any list of least-trusted people.) When we struck a deal, I knew without a doubt it was a fair price, for both me and the dealership. The agreement was sealed with a handshake, as binding as any signature on a legal document.

God’s law was the moral compass of these men. While none was perfect, each understood that ultimately he was accountable to his Creator, and the faith of each was a guiding light in his life.

These men lived within their means. They clearly distinguished between wants and needs. Debt was sometimes necessary to meet a need or to invest in something with a reasonable expectation of return, but was never undertaken lightly. Delayed gratification was the rule, instant gratification rare.

These men were committed to God’s plan for marriage. Their marriage vows saw them through the inevitable trials their relationships may have endured. Marriages were neither started nor ended on a whim.

These are some of the lessons these men tried to teach by example. The question is, have we been paying attention?

Introverts

I am an introvert. I’ve known that for a long time, but a recent book I read (a very introverty way to learn, by the way) revealed much I didn’t realize about introversion and how thoroughly I fit the mold. So, for my extrovert (and introvert) friends, here are some things you should know.

1. Introverts don’t need to be fixed. Western culture tends to value extroversion. (Can you name one introvert we’ve recently elected to political office?) The outgoing, gregarious, aggressive individual is the one who succeeds (or so we believe). Although an introvert may sometimes envy the ease with which an extrovert socializes, introversion is not a psychological disability.

2. Extroverts gain energy from social interactions; introverts are drained by social interaction. Introverts need alone time to recharge. One introvert observed, “If we leave a party early, it’s not because we’re party poopers. We’re just pooped. Socializing takes a lot out of us.” Another noted, “We don’t need alone time because we don’t like you. We need alone time because we need alone time. Don’t take it personally.” Another added, “To live as an introvert in a world dominated by non-introverts is to recognize that most everything is a trap. There is an ongoing effort to suck the energy out of you. That is key to understanding introverts: while extroverts gain energy from human interactions, introverts expend energy during these interactions. For us, that energy is rarely regained in sufficiently equal amounts.”

3. Introverts hate small talk. Small talk is the hardest form of communication for an introvert. An introvert needs a reason to talk. Introverts like deep conversations one-on-one or in small groups about topics that interest them. One writer noted, “If you're giving energy in a social situation, the most rewarding scenario will be one with purpose, one after which you feel as if you learned something substantial or made a real connection. With chit-chat, the gutter level of conversation, it’s hard to transcend surface interactions, an utterly depleting experience for introverts.”

4. Extroverts think by talking; introverts think before talking. (This is why, one writer contends, a meeting of extroverts never lasts less than six hours!) Extroverts learn through trial and error. Introverts learn through observation. Introverts want to have a thorough understanding of an issue before voicing an opinion. Someone observed: “The extrovert doesn't know that if an introvert isn't talking, they are still thinking.” Introverts may appear clueless. In reality, they are probably processing information and the environment of the moment. Introverts tend to be aware of the feelings of others present and will likely be direct but tactful when they do speak.

5. Introverts are friendlier than they appear to be. Introverts are not arrogant. Introverts love people, they just don’t feel the need to be around them all the time. Introverts are not likely to circulate at a social gathering, introducing themselves to everyone. They prefer to get to know others through observation first. One introvert shared that “there really is no better puzzle than a human being, which is another reason we like to observe from a distance. Interacting with a person does tell you quite a bit, but because you have to interact, you lose focus on observing.”

One more insight: “We love to party just as much as the next guy. If by party, you mean crack open a laptop/book/magazine in a comfy chair. Because that’s what we mean by ‘party.’” So, feel free to invite me to your next gathering. But please don’t be offended if I sit in a corner with my Kindle app and regard the rest of you from across the room!



Check out Dr. Carmella’s Guide to Understanding the Introverted!
Here is an excellent TED Talk on the topic.

A servant's heart

Two years ago I transitioned out of the classroom into a technology support role in my school district. Four of us were designated “Technology Integration Specialists.” (We were amused by the title because none of us felt very “specialized” at that point.) Although the other three had been employed in the same school district, we had only a passing acquaintance.

From our very first meeting we four, plus our curriculum director (assigned to supervise and keep us in line, I presume!), established a relationship of mutual trust and respect. Working with this group helped make the last two years of my teaching career very fulfilling ones. With two of us retiring, we met one more time for lunch a few days ago. As I drove home, I contemplated what it was that was special about this group of five individuals who gelled and functioned in a way I’ve too rarely experienced.

Then it came to me: each of my four co-workers has a servant’s heart! Though we never stated it in so many words, when we came together we instinctively knew that we shared these priorities: (1) what was best for our students, (2) what was best for our staff, and (3) what was in the best interest of the school district as a whole.

Egos were never a factor in the group dynamic. We were free to openly and safely express our thoughts on a given matter, agreeing or disagreeing, because we knew the motivation of each of the others, and it was never self-interest. If one made a statement in contradiction to another, we knew that person was only seeking the common good, and that their point of view was worth considering. In such an environment, amazing things can be accomplished!

Paul teaches this in Philippians 2:3-4: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” How does one develop a servant’s heart? I’m not sure, but I’m fairly certain of two things: (1) It is a gift from God and (2) He wants each of His children to have one.

Thank you Colleen, Teresa, Mark, and Mickey. I will remember with gratitude the unique working relationship we had.

Reminders

Dad passed away recently after a brief illness. As we move through the grieving process, I am recalling with renewed appreciation some of the things that bring meaning to life that, during less trying times, I sometimes take for granted.

Family ties are a powerful connection during stressful life events. My siblings and I have spent more time together and are closer than we have been in years. I reminisced with many cousins, too rarely visited amid the busyness of life. We reflected on the wonderful legacy passed to us by previous generations.

Friends and compassionate co-workers are a source of great encouragement and comfort. Awkwardly worded condolences are valued more than eloquent but passionless expressions of sympathy. Hugs are priceless.

Music penetrates the depths of the soul. A pianist with a remarkable God-given talent ministered to us through timeless hymns of the church. Music is a balm that soothes deeply in our hour of greatest need.

The Body of Christ is at its best when performing acts of mercy. It’s hard to imagine anyone navigating these days without connection to a faith family. While the hands we saw were those of our local church family, I am also reminded that we are supported by brothers and sisters around the world. Our niece in Tanzania, and we in turn, were blessed by the believers surrounding her who conducted a memorial service for her grandpa, singing the same hymns that were played at the funeral thousands of miles distant.

The God of the ages uses modern technology to bring comfort! I complain daily about technology, but it was technology that permitted a niece and two nephews to see and hear Grandpa and to say their good-byes. Modern medicine was not able to provide a cure, but it did provide relief in Dad’s final days. Thank you, Lord, for insights into mysteries of Your universe that have enabled humankind to enhance communication and provide medical interventions.

We sense God’s presence best in quiet times through simple means. A stunning double rainbow the evening of the day of Dad’s funeral was a reminder to us, as it was to Noah, of God’s enduring faithfulness.

I knew these things. Now I understand with renewed clarity.

Teachers

It was only a matter of time before I was compelled to write about this. The tipping point came this week when media across the state reported that 87% of Indiana teachers were rated as effective or highly effective. It was not the report that was so disturbing. (From my 40 years’ experience in public schools, that’s about the number I would have predicted.) No, what pushed me over the edge was the reaction to that report. No sooner were these results released than Indiana politicians were decrying how inflated and inaccurate these numbers must be. Mind you, these are some of the same individuals who designed and put into law this evaluation system (in hopes, I suspect, of proving once and for all that Indiana public school teachers are largely incompetent). How devastating for them it must be for their own evaluation tool to destroy this preconceived notion.

On what data do these critics base their conclusion that far fewer than 87% of Indiana teachers are effective? Test scores of course! Because we all know that no other factor than the classroom teacher has any impact on student test scores!

Well, actually, I (and any other thinking person) can quickly generate a list of just a few other factors that might impact student achievement as measured by a few hours of testing once a year.

• Students who enter kindergarten never having held a pencil or pair of scissors, who don’t know what a crayon is, let alone its color. (Don’t believe me? Ask any kindergarten teacher.)
• Children for whom reading (or any other academic pursuit) has never been modeled, valued, or encouraged at home.
• Youngsters from homes in structural disorganization and/or emotional turmoil.
• Parents who refuse to acknowledge that their child might have a learning disability or emotional or physical impediment, and will not even pursue a diagnosis let alone seek any sort of counseling, treatment or alternative educational approach to remedy the problem (despite multiple teachers tactfully or otherwise encouraging them to do so). (Do we hold dentists accountable for tooth decay because their patients refuse to follow their advice to brush regularly?)
• Students from families so dysfunctional, whose social, emotional and physical needs are so great, that putting concerted attention and effort into a paper and pencil (or computer, but that’s a whole other issue) test is literally impossible.
• Children for whom there is no real consequence for a low test score. Aside from parental encouragement and valuing of achievement, children often have little motivation to put forth their best effort. (Should we tell them their teacher’s job is on the line?)
• Nutritionally deficient children. (Yes, there is a good reason most schools now serve breakfast. It’s one small part of the effort to give these kids a fighting chance.)

A family member just spent three weeks in the hospital while a procession of doctors at a respected regional hospital conducted varied and repeated tests to diagnose a condition. Why could this not have been diagnosed in a couple of days? One theory is that these doctors and other medical professionals were incompetent. They may be overpaid, undermotivated, and simply content with the status quo. Perhaps they don’t really care about their patients and are unsympathetic to their extended confinement and ultimately their health.

A second theory is that there were complicating factors, outside the control of the physicians, which made the diagnosis especially difficult. In this theory, the doctors were putting forth their best effort, using their extensive training, but medical science simply has not advanced to the point that this diagnosis was easy to come by.

Conspiracy theorists will gravitate to Theory 1. There must be a closed society of medical personnel, protecting the incompetents in their midst, assuring that medical care never rises above mediocre. Naively, perhaps, I’m going with Theory 2. The reality of our world is that few problems of any significance have simple solutions.

Teachers can use all their training, all their teaching and life experiences, put all their effort into instructing, motivating, supporting, and advocating for a student, and the student may still “fail.” There are simply too many factors outside the sphere of influence of the classroom teacher. Unfortunately, students from multi-dysfunctional environments often finish a school year in much the same condition as they began it. This no longer surprises me. What does surprise me is how often an underachieving student makes remarkable gains under the care of a competent, compassionate teacher, despite all the factors suggesting that this is impossible.

Sadly, while politicians continue to indict teachers for the failure of Indiana students, time is slipping away for these children. Instead of “motivating” teachers by figuratively cracking the whip, is it unrealistic to think we could all sit down, objectively begin to identify the multitude of factors that impact the welfare of our children, and move forward with a plan of action that might actually make a difference?

Spelling Bee

For many years I organized and conducted the annual spelling bee for my school. It worked out that I was able to attend my granddaughter’s spelling bee this week, and I enjoyed simply being an observer. (My definition of a successful bee was one in which the right answers were definitely right, the wrong answers were definitely wrong, and there were no “what did she say?” moments.) There is as much drama in a spelling bee as any athletic event. (ESPN apparently agrees with me on this.)

After witnessing multiple bees, it is obvious that there are universal types of spellers. Here are a few.

• The Charger. This speller charges right ahead after hearing (or thinking he heard) the word, confidently bulldozing right through to the end, correctly or incorrectly.
• The Deliberate Speller. This speller is at the other end of the spectrum from The Charger. Words are spelled s-l-o-w-l-y, one … letter … at … a … time. With each enunciated letter, audience members move an inch closer to the edge of their seats.
• The Questioner. No, I’m not referring to the speller who asks for the definition every time (although these exist too, and it’s actually a good strategy). This speller’s voice has an upward inflection with each letter voiced, culminating with the final letter, in effect begging the judge to answer the question, “Is there any chance I might be correct?” 
• The I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-my-teacher-made-me Speller. Typically, this speller threatens to end the pain early by purposely misspelling the first word. I never saw it happen, though. We always made sure the first round words were easy. Turns out it’s really hard to make yourself say “d-o-g” when your first word is cat.
• The Whisperer/Shouter. The whisperer shies from the microphone and has the judges straining forward to hear. The shouter, on the other hand, is dead-center on the mic, articulating clearly, and reviving audience members who may be nodding off.
• The Okay-I-know-blew-it Speller. Recognizing a fatal mistake, this speller simply ends the word with a jumble of letters and desperately scans the room for a means of escape.
• The Leg-crosser. This pitiable speller either forgot to make a pit stop before the competition or was overcome by nerves. He doesn’t care what the next word is, or whether he gets it right or wrong. He is simply focused on how he can discreetly excuse himself to the restroom.

• The Genetically-endowed Speller. Finally, there is the speller with at least one highly intelligent progenitor, giving her an edge in any spelling competition. By the way, did I mention that Merisa won her school bee?

Toothache

A toothache and impending visit to an endodontist have me thinking things dental this week. With several days out of school thanks to a January snowstorm, I’ve had time to contemplate such questions as, What kind of dental treatment could I have anticipated hundreds or thousands of years ago?

Evidence of dental treatment traces to about 7000 BC. My dentist would have been  a bead maker who
used his bow drill to treat my tooth. Dental assistants came on the scene about the same time, because someone had to hold down the flailing patient during this excruciating procedure.

Moving forward a couple thousand years, my diagnosis would likely have been tooth worms. Indeed, dentists of this era could see these worms when they peered inside the tooth cavity. Sadly, what they took to be worms were actually nerves, and one can only begin to imagine what the patient endured while these “worms” were removed. Remarkably, the diagnosis of tooth worms persisted from 5000 BC until the 1700s.

In Greece, Hippocrates and Aristotle both recorded tooth extraction as a
common dental treatment. This certainly took care of the pain (sometime after the procedure, of course). Extraction continued to be the primary recourse through the middle ages, at which time my dentist would have been a barber. In the 14th century he would likely have used a Dental Pelican, a precursor of modern day forceps.

The roots (pun intended) of modern dentistry track to the 17th century when a French physician, Pierre Fauchard, pioneered a process for dental fillings and discovered that acids from sugar were a cause of tooth decay. Preventive dentistry began to be practiced.

By 1790, I would have been comfortably seated in a specially designed dental chair. (Comfortably seated, not necessarily comfortably treated.) Patients still had no relief from the pain associated with dental procedures, and one imagines that employment prospects for the restraining dental assistant were still very good. The Chinese had tried acupuncture, but the first local anesthetic was not used until 1884 by Carl Koller. Unfortunately cocaine, while highly effective, had the distressing side effect of also being highly addictive. Novocain was introduced by German chemist Alfred Einkorn in 1905.

Nitrous oxide was used as a general anesthesia as early as the 1840s. While the prospect of self-administering this gas has some appeal, it is nonetheless disconcerting.

Thankfully, modern dental treatments are nearly painless and, while I can think of other activities I might prefer, I’m not dreading my upcoming root canal. Now if only something could be done about the associated fiscal pain to my wallet.