Spelling Bee

For many years I organized and conducted the annual spelling bee for my school. It worked out that I was able to attend my granddaughter’s spelling bee this week, and I enjoyed simply being an observer. (My definition of a successful bee was one in which the right answers were definitely right, the wrong answers were definitely wrong, and there were no “what did she say?” moments.) There is as much drama in a spelling bee as any athletic event. (ESPN apparently agrees with me on this.)

After witnessing multiple bees, it is obvious that there are universal types of spellers. Here are a few.

• The Charger. This speller charges right ahead after hearing (or thinking he heard) the word, confidently bulldozing right through to the end, correctly or incorrectly.
• The Deliberate Speller. This speller is at the other end of the spectrum from The Charger. Words are spelled s-l-o-w-l-y, one … letter … at … a … time. With each enunciated letter, audience members move an inch closer to the edge of their seats.
• The Questioner. No, I’m not referring to the speller who asks for the definition every time (although these exist too, and it’s actually a good strategy). This speller’s voice has an upward inflection with each letter voiced, culminating with the final letter, in effect begging the judge to answer the question, “Is there any chance I might be correct?” 
• The I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-my-teacher-made-me Speller. Typically, this speller threatens to end the pain early by purposely misspelling the first word. I never saw it happen, though. We always made sure the first round words were easy. Turns out it’s really hard to make yourself say “d-o-g” when your first word is cat.
• The Whisperer/Shouter. The whisperer shies from the microphone and has the judges straining forward to hear. The shouter, on the other hand, is dead-center on the mic, articulating clearly, and reviving audience members who may be nodding off.
• The Okay-I-know-blew-it Speller. Recognizing a fatal mistake, this speller simply ends the word with a jumble of letters and desperately scans the room for a means of escape.
• The Leg-crosser. This pitiable speller either forgot to make a pit stop before the competition or was overcome by nerves. He doesn’t care what the next word is, or whether he gets it right or wrong. He is simply focused on how he can discreetly excuse himself to the restroom.

• The Genetically-endowed Speller. Finally, there is the speller with at least one highly intelligent progenitor, giving her an edge in any spelling competition. By the way, did I mention that Merisa won her school bee?