Christmas trivia

One of my favorite activities with my technology classes is an Internet scavenger hunt. Here are the questions my students will be attempting to answer over the next few days. Dust off your search skills and see how many you can locate! Are you smarter than a fifth grade Googler? (Or, for the impatient, see the answers below.)

Christmas Trivia Internet Scavenger Hunt

1. The first artificial Christmas trees were made in Germany in the 19th century. From what were they made?

2. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the tallest Christmas tree ever cut was 221 feet tall. In what city was it displayed?

3. Why are spider webs a popular Christmas decoration in Poland?

4. Which U.S. President banned Christmas trees in the White House?

5. The first U.S. Christmas stamp was issued in 1962 and featured a wreath and candles. What was its value?

6. Which Christmas song is the best-selling recording of all time?

7. What was the population of Santa Claus, Indiana, in 2010?

8. How many gifts in total are given in “The Twelve Days of Christmas”?

9. What was the first song ever broadcast from space?

10. How many Christmas trees can be seen on the White House public tour route in 2013?

11. In Canada, Santa Claus has his own postal zip code. What is it?  

12. What was the world’s largest Christmas gift?

13. On what date was Christmas declared a national holiday in the United States?

14. What carol is sung at the end of A Charlie Brown Christmas?

15. At Gladys’ Bakery in Weimar, Texas, you can purchase the world’s largest fruit cake. It weighs 150 pounds and is in the shape of the state of Texas. What is its price?









Answers (with links to a source for each)
1. They were made using goose feathers dyed green.
2. Seattle, Washington
3. According to legend, a spider wove a blanket for baby Jesus.
4. Teddy Roosevelt
5. $.04
6. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby
7. 2,481
8. 364
9. Jingle Bells
10. 24
11. H0H 0H0
12. Statue of Liberty
13. June 28, 1870
14. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
15. $999 (not including handling and shipping fees!)

Mice

It’s that time of year. Mice within a quarter-mile flock to our house seeking to share our abode for the winter. I don’t know where they find a way in. I’ve looked, more than once. Considering that mice can reportedly enter through an opening just larger than a quarter inch, it’s little surprise I’ve not discovered their point(s) of entry. And so the battle of wits begins.

The problem of mouse infestations, of course, is not new. While the Greeks and Romans generally respected the mouse (e.g. Aesop’s “The Lion and the Mouse”), the Egyptians were terrified of the creature of doom, controlling mouse populations with cats or ferrets. (We were little better off when we had a cat. She liked the stalking game, but lacked the will to finally dispatch her prey.)

Human ingenuity has been at its best in creating unique (though not necessarily effective) methods for trapping a mouse. Here are a few.

Bucket Mousetrap

The mouse (theoretically) jumps off the ramp to get to the peanut butter on the can, which rotates, sending the helpless rodent plummeting into the liquid at the bottom.









Choker Mousetrap

The mouse chews through a string to get to the bait. The gnawed string releases the trap, choking the mouse.














U.S. Patent #269,766
 

Yes, this one was actually patented in 1882. According to the inventor, it had additional uses: “This invention may also be used in connection with a door or window, so as to kill any person or thing opening the door or window to which it is attached.”


Acme mousetrap

 This technomarvel is described on the website dvice.com as “housed in a beautifully designed, shiny, aluminum case. It works using a combination of complex series of solenoids, electronic control circuitry and a heavy-duty pneumatic actuator. The 40 to 60 PSI of compressed air can deliver a death blow of 102 pounds to the pesky rodent.”







American Toywheel Mouse Trap

The trapped intruder may as well have one last bit of fun while awaiting his destiny.


















LEGO Mousetrap

The designer claims to have actually caught two mice with this one.














Ralph Waldo Emerson is famously (but falsely) quoted as saying, “Build a better mousetrap, and the world will beat a path to your door.” The world is still waiting.

Sinning saints

I’ve been troubled in the past few months by the sin I see all around me. I know, we live in a fallen world and sin is the “norm,” but the sin that concerns me most is not what I observe in “sinners” but in saints. I’m bothered by those who profess to be Christ followers, yet fail so miserably to live up to that calling. I’m disappointed by those I raise on a pedestal by a few inches or a few feet who fail to be the example I expect them to be. I’m disillusioned by sinning saints.

First a couple of definitions, lest I be accused of coining a contradictory term. I’m using Unger’s* definition of saint: “New Testament believers, member of the Body of Christ, the Church of God. All the saved of the New Testament era are saints by virtue of their position in Christ.” And sin: “Everything in the … conduct of God’s moral creatures that is contrary to the expressed will of God.” Saints, then, are not perfect by objective measure, but sinless by definition as a result of the redeeming work of Christ.

One does not need to delve deeply into Scripture to see that sinning saints are nothing new. Paul (Saint Paul), who zealously obeyed the letter of the Jewish law, then just as zealously followed the Christ, himself confessed, “For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:18-19, NIV)

David, whose faith as a youth was so great that God used him to destroy a mortal enemy, and who is considered one of Israel’s greatest rulers, committed sins that had devastating consequences for his family. (2 Samuel 12)

So what am I to make of those who profess Christ but fail to live accordingly?

First, it’s all of us. I am confronted by a sinning saint every morning when I glance in the bathroom mirror. None is exempt. I am as often the disappointer as the disappointee. Soberingly, we are told that we are judged in the same manner and by the same measure that we judge. (Matthew 7:1-2)

Second, God has graciously provided a way out of our predicament. When we find ourselves mired in the muck of sin and being pulled ever deeper, we have no other recourse than to grasp the hem of the garment of the only One who can supply the mercy we so deeply desire yet so little deserve. (See Matthew 9:20-22)

Sinning saints should not so much surprise us as remind us that we all share this fallen condition, yet God has provided a remedy.

Yes, the church is full of sinners. Come join us. You’ll fit right in!

*Merrill F. Unger, Unger’s Bible Dictionary

First world problems

If you watch the nightly news for more than five minutes, you are well aware of third world problems—poverty, malnutrition, disease, illiteracy—the list goes on. But did you know there are first world problems?* The Urban Dictionary defines “first world problems” as “Problems from living in a wealthy, industrialized nation that third worlders would probably roll their eyes at.” Yes, you and I encounter them daily!

Some of my first world problems:

• Since the automatic locks stopped working, I have to manually lock the back doors of my van.
• Since a new security system was installed, if I leave school for a meeting and forget to take my key, I have to walk to the front door, push a button, and ask permission to get back in.
• Since my color cartridge dried up and I haven’t replaced it, I have to print everything with black ink.
• I haven’t upgraded my Internet service, and some web pages take 10 seconds or more to load.
• I have so many shirts in my closet, it’s really inconvenient to reach the ones at the end.
• I like the energy savings from my CFL light bulbs, but I have some of the early models that take up to 30 seconds after I flip the switch to reach full strength.

What are your first world problems? Did you identify with any of mine? Does it help put your day in perspective? Thank God for His blessings today!

*Have you wondered, where is the second world? The short answer is the former socialist states under the influence of the Soviet Union. The long answer is here.

Favorite words

I like words. Some words are just fun to say. Others bring to mind a picture that perfectly fits the meaning. Here are some of my favorite words, along with Merriam-Webster’s* definitions.

• flabbergasted: overwhelmed with shock, surprise, or wonder
• serendipity: luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for
• brouhaha: great excitement or concern about something
• hullabaloo: a situation in which many people are upset and angry about something
• cantankerous: difficult or irritating to deal with
• jocularity: noun form of jocular: given to jesting :  habitually jolly (Habitually jolly? Love it!)
• onomatopoeia: the naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss)
• kerfuffle: disturbance, fuss 
• lackadaisical: feeling or showing a lack of interest or enthusiasm
• oxymoron: a combination of words that have opposite or very different meanings
• asterisk: a symbol * that is used in printed text especially to tell someone to read a note that can be found at the bottom of a page (Many just call it a star. What a missed opportunity!)
• Albuquerque: city central New Mexico pop 448,607 (And if you hail from there, you are an Albuquerquean.)
• curmudgeon: a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man (You’re thinking of someone right now, aren’t you?)
• debauchery: bad or immoral behavior that involves sex, drugs, alcohol, etc.
• frazzled: put in a state of extreme physical or nervous fatigue
• melancholy: an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression (Black bile? Who knew? Black bile: a humor of medieval physiology believed to be secreted by the kidneys or spleen. How does one reduce one’s excess?)
• obnoxious: unpleasant in a way that makes people feel offended, annoyed, or disgusted (Again, someone popped into your mind … right?)
• periwinkle: a trailing plant with large blue flowers that is used as a ground cover and in window boxes or a light purplish blue (Such a happy word!)
• scrumptious: very pleasant to taste (I think the definition needs a bit more punch.)
• bloviate: to speak or write verbosely and windily (I picture it being delivered by a corpulent—having a large bulky body—politician.)
• discombobulate: upset, confuse
• shenanigan: a devious trick used especially for an underhand purpose
• regurgitate: to bring food that has been swallowed back to and out of the mouth (Sorry for the image. I didn’t say they all were pleasant.)
• pandemonium: a wild uproar
• lollygag: to spend time doing things that are not useful or serious : to fool around and waste time (Such as creating this blog.)

Those are some of my favorites. What are yours? Comment below.

*www.merriam-webster.com

Conference survival guide

I’m leaving in the morning for a computer educator’s conference. I only attend one or two conferences a year, but over time that’s added up to quite a few, making me something of an expert on how to successfully navigate such an event. Here are my strategies.

1. Dress casually. My younger colleagues give me incredulous looks when I tell them there was a time I wouldn’t dream of wearing anything less than a coat and tie to a conference. The one I’m attending tomorrow is advertised as “business casual.” To a teacher that means one thing: jeans.
2. Leave at least 15 minutes earlier than you think you need to. You will make at least one wrong turn. When you walk into your first session 15 minutes late, everyone will turn and stare and have one of two thoughts: “They made a wrong turn,” or “They should have skipped the line at Starbucks.”
3. Use this foolproof method to choose your workshop sessions: Cut apart your conference guide. Without looking, pick one piece. Attend this session. Session descriptions never match the actual content. Save yourself the time and agony of poring over the list.
4. Prepare for session envy. If you ignored Number 3 and actually believed the description you were reading, you will be disappointed. Your friend who attended the one with the bland description, however, will declare it to be “the best one I’ve ever attended.”
5. Sit near the back/front. You have a decision to make here. If you’re young and still have 20/20 vision, sit near the door so you can escape unnoticed when the session proves to be worthless. (If you leave early enough, you can slip into another session, in which case another option may be added to Number 2 above, “Their other session was a dud.”) If you’re my age, sit near the front so you can actually see the presentation. (If the presenter has to say, “I know those of you in the back can’t see this,” why didn’t they just make it BIGGER to begin with?)
6. Pick up all the free vendor goodies you can. Yes, you will soon recognize them for the useless trinkets they really are, but you can relish the few moments when they still feel like treasures. (The ones with the little chocolate bars are the best.)
7. Attend the luncheon. You’ve already paid for it, and usually it’s pretty good. If not, it’s a good conversation starter. During the last ten minutes of the keynote speech, when the speaker has stopped saying anything of value and is determined to make you late to your next session, you can check messages on your phone.
8. Park strategically. Friday, 3:00: everyone will be rushing for the exit at once. Be ready!

These are the suggestions of a veteran conference attendee. Disregard them at your own peril!

Pet Peeve #1: Forwards

I’m not sure I’ll write about another pet peeve, but I’ve labeled this #1 just in case.

I’m irritated by forwards. Not all forwards, but forwards that fall into two categories: those that promise blessing or that shame me if I do or do not forward them, and those that are forwarded ad infinitum with no regard to the validity of the contents.

One rarely sees snail-mail chain letters any more (probably because no one can afford to send them, not to mention that if they promise monetary gain they are illegal), but chain letters via e-mail are thriving! One I received this morning urged me to “Keep this going.” And further advised me that, “Now you're on the clock! In 9 minutes something will make you happy. ;-) But you have to tell this story to 9 people, Go!”

Friend, I may agree 100% with the opinion stated in your e-mail, but if I get to the end and I am promised anything, or if you attempt to induce guilt, you may be 100% assured that I will not forward it! And I refuse to suffer one iota of remorse!

My God does not bless, nor does He reprove, based upon either my willingness or failure to forward a message, regardless of content. I’m sorry if your god does.

I suppose it’s human nature but why, when we receive a message containing opinions that echo our own biases, are we so quick to believe it’s true and that no verification is needed before we inflict it on the next person?

Why are we so willing to immediately boycott Pepsi (unless, of course, we’re a Pepsi addict, which might diminish our resolve) because they left the words “under God” out of the Pledge of Allegiance, based on a widely circulated missive, without checking it out? (The real story is here.) Or to believe that the ACLU is pushing to remove cross-shaped headstones from federal cemeteries? Or to rise up in indignation that atheists are trying to ban religious broadcasting? (This one goes clear back to 1975 and still resurfaces.)

I’m not sure what I think of Obamacare. I don’t understand Obamacare. (Does anyone understand Obamacare?) But your e-mail “informing” me that it will require me to have a microchip implanted does not help me discern how the law will really affect me.

If you don’t have time to check some basic facts before you send on that piece that so “eloquently” expresses your views, please don’t.

On the other hand, if it’s true, and it’s uplifting, and it will brighten my day, like this one, please click the forward button!

Technology: love it/hate it

I’ve always been enamored by technology. I attended college before the advent of personal computers (and never miss an opportunity to regale my children and younger friends with tales of torturous experiences writing term papers on typewriters). I bought a Texas Instruments TI-99 in the early ‘80s. We were the first family on our block to have an Apple IIc. (Okay, there are only two families in our “block,” but you get the idea.) My first classroom computer was a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model III, for which I manually entered programs in BASIC language. (I actually saw one of these in a museum awhile back!)

Whether you love it or hate it, there’s no denying that technology has radically changed our world. I love technology, when it works!

When our school corporation purchased a laptop computer for each student and staff member last year, I became our building’s Technology Integration Specialist. (Don’t take the specialist part too seriously. There wasn’t much competition.) I envisioned spending days in creative bliss, exploring new programs by the hour, and sharing inspired ideas with teachers and students that would revolutionize education. Don’t get me wrong, I do get to do this (well, the description may be a little overblown), but a portion of each day finds me fielding student complaints such as: “My computer’s typing backwards!” “Everything’s upside-down!” “I can’t log in … again!” and the ever-helpful, “My computer won’t work!”

I’m happy to say that our technology assistant and I can probably resolve 90% of these problems, passing the rest on up the line to the real tech people, but it’s not my favorite part of the job. And all those new programs and websites I’m finding? Yeah, each one comes with its own unique personality, peculiarities and glitches. Rarely does a day go by that I’m not contacting our tech department, reading a user manual, searching a forum, or e-mailing a vendor’s tech support to remedy something.

Technology? I love it. But why can’t it just work?!

Morning duty

Due to some scheduling changes this year, I picked up a morning duty. I supervise in the gymnasium for about 15 minutes before the start of the school day. As students come in early, the gym is a holding area until time for release to classrooms.

Thankfully I’m a morning person, so this isn’t too much of a shock to my system. It begins with a trickle, 10 or 15 early arrivers, then picks up—40, 70, 85, a hundred—as more walkers and car-riders flow in, culminating with bus riders disembarking in a flood. Students sit in line by grade, lending some organization to potential bedlam.

I’ve yet to meet a teacher who relishes such tasks, and I must admit my preference would be to sit in my office preparing for the day, but such duties do not come without some perks. For me, it’s being one of the first adults to greet each student on his or her arrival at school.

Some prance in bright and bubbly (sometimes a bit too bubbly, even for a morning person); others saunter in somber and groggy. Some dressed and groomed immaculately, others looking as if they rolled out of bed directly onto the bus. Some obviously happy to be here, others noncommittal at this early hour, and (especially young ones early in the year) a few teary-eyed.

I play a little game (I’m easily amused) where I say “Good morning” to each entering student and see how many children pass me before my greeting is returned. (In fairness, many students eat breakfast in the gym and are more intent on getting to the head of the line than greeting a teacher. Can’t say I blame them.) “Happy Monday” provokes some scowls; “Happy Friday” may prompt a smile.

One student takes great joy in dodging my high fives. This has become a great amusement to her. (One could reasonably ask why a “mature” adult would keep trying.)

Fifth and sixth graders tend to form clusters within their “lines.” Some teachers might insist on more proper line protocol; I enjoy eavesdropping on their conversations, finding out what’s on their radars for the day.

What have I observed in my first few weeks of “morning duty”? First, we have wonderfully well-mannered, well-behaved students in my school. Of course, some need a few behavioral reminders (they’re kids, after all), but considering we have upwards of 300 students in one place at one time (no, I haven’t been able to count), it’s a remarkably easy duty. And the ones who don’t return my “Good mornings”? If I repeat myself and break through that pre-8:00 fog, they invariably respond, usually with a smile!

Baby tech

Today we were blessed by the arrival of our sixth grandchild! While Grandma was cooing over baby Eloise Marie, Grandpa was mulling over the question, “What technology is out there to help care for a newborn?” (I know, pathetic isn’t it? I can’t help it.) Well, here are some things I found.

• WebMD Baby App Yes, that hardbound medical reference book that we consulted so many nights while Baby wailed has been replaced by always-up-to-date, reliable, searchable online information. But wait! There’s more! Diaper Tracker: “Record the date and time of every diaper change, and note if the diaper was wet, dirty, or both. You can email each entry, generate a daily diaper change report, or see all changes in a calendar view.” WebMD Baby also features Sleep Tracker, Growth Tracker, Feeding Tracker, and Baby Book. Apparently new technology makes baby care so easy that one has time (and energy) to record such things.
•  The Why Cry Baby Crying Analyzer. What I would have given for one of these! Worth every penny of $49.99 if it really does “interpret the various reasons for why your baby cries and displays the answer on an easy-to-read LCD screen.”
• Withings Smart Baby Monitor. A bit pricy at $249.95, but this one does it all! Displays high resolution digital video on your smartphone (with pan, tilt, and zoom, giving you a view of the whole room). Digital quality sound from two “discrete” microphones. Night mode switches to infrared camera. Two-way talk. Plays seven lullabies, controlled from your smartphone. Emits a “soft and soothing glow,” with “rainbow mode.” Monitors temperature and humidity level.
•  Huggies TweetPee App. This clip-on humidity sensor will tweet you when a change is necessary. Only available in Brazil right now, one can only hope for a North American release soon.
•  Baby Changing App. Okay, just kidding on this one, but whoever develops it will be an overnight billionaire!

So, what apps would I recommend to precious Eloise’s mom and dad?

• Love App. Apply unconditionally.
• Prayer App. Use without ceasing.
• Hug App. No recommended limit.

Sorry, but the ones detailed above don’t even make the list.

Kindergarteners and computers

Last year when our school purchased computers for every student, I stepped out of the classroom to work full time in technology integration. This year, with the program established, I am meeting with each of our 15 classes once a week for about 25 minutes, providing some sort of technology instruction.

As I discussed this new role with my boss last spring, I expressed one concern: KINDERGARTEN! You see, I’d had just enough interaction with kindergarten students last year to learn two things: kindergarteners are helpless, and kindergarteners are incredibly needy. Working with a gaggle of kindergarteners for as little as 25 minutes is enough to drain my last ounce of energy. (Kindergarten teachers are grossly undercompensated!)

So a couple of weeks ago, operating on the premise that students can’t work on computers until they’ve logged on to the school network, I set out to do so with KINDERGARTENERS!

I was wise enough to know not to let kindergarteners remove their own computers from the storage cart, so I began to pull them out, one by one. Not knowing any of their names yet, I began calling out their user names labeled on the top of each device (usually first initial and last name): “Jones,” “Jones,” “AJones.” “Who is AJones?” A few teacher-pleasers raised tentative hands, none connected to AJones, which brought me face-to-face with …

Revelation #1: Kindergarteners do now know their last names.

Apparently this bit of knowledge has not been a necessary part of their skill set for the first five years of life.

Eventually moving past the distribution debacle, we opened the lids of the devices (no problem here, thankfully), found the power button and held it until it turned blue (a few problems), then pressed CTRL-ALT-DEL. Now I had been particularly prescient here. Knowing that they would be unlikely to find these keys the first time, we had actually practiced this on highlighted paper keyboards a week earlier. This step was more difficult than the first two, but we muddled through.

As students now blankly stared at two empty boxes, one for user name and one for password, I was soon struck by …

Revelation #2: Kindergarteners do not know the alphabet.

Now, mind you, each student’s user name and password are on a label, in all caps (just like the keys!) right above the keyboard. One simply needs to find the cryptic shape that looks just like the one on the label and press that key!

Well, most of us did get logged in that day, with considerable adult intervention. (My boss graciously has made sure I have assistance when KINDERGARTEN comes!)

This week, we logged in each student ahead of time, right up to the exact web page I wanted them to use, before they came for Tech Time. All they had to do was click on enticing pictures, nothing else!

My technology assistant thinks we might be up to trying student logons again along about Christmas. I think she’s awfully optimistic.

Faith, family, education

On a whim, a few days ago I decided to start a blog. I’m not sure why. You may be reading my first and last entry. I am not obligated to continue it. I’m not being paid nor expected to keep it up. It’s my blog and I’ll update it if and when I feel like it, thank you.

I’ve thought that if I ever became a professional author I would write instruction manuals.  A typical e-mail to my coworkers is along the lines of “How to Set the Homepage in Google Chrome in 7 Easy Steps.” I think in terms of numbered lists, so this will be a bit of a stretch for me.

So what will I write about? I suspect topics will relate to one or a combination of three roles that I play.

I am, first of all, a Jesus follower. Not a perfect one, mind you, but this is my intent and life’s quest. My other roles fall into place around this one.

I am a member of a family, a son, husband, father, grandfather (five times, going on six), and uncle. Family is of prime importance to me.

I am a teacher. I have wanted to be a teacher since fifth grade. To be honest, I don’t feel like being a teacher every day I go to work, but after 39 years it is still a privilege to view the wonders of our world through the eyes of children.

Oh, yes, the name of my blog. After extended reflection (of 20 minutes or so) I chose “pressed down, shaken together, running over.” Taken out of context, this phrase from Luke 6:38 might be interpreted to reflect that life in this world weighs us down. We do often feel pressured and jostled, with more woes than we can contain.

The whole verse, however, reads, “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (NIV) This is a promise of incomprehensible blessings promised to Jesus followers!

A first-century Middle-Easterner would have appreciated this analogy. An honest seller of grain in the marketplace would make sure his customer received the full measure he was due, the grain being pressed down in the container, then filled to the top again, shaken to settle it, then filled once more, overflowing to the point that the buyer had to catch the excess in the pouch of his robe.

I don’t believe that God is a cosmic vending machine: insert obedience, receive blessings in equal measure. I do, however, believe that faithful Jesus followers become aware of and able to receive the generous blessings that He wants to give all His children if they are simply willing to open their hearts and their lives to accept them.

Well, you’ve read all the way to the end of my first (only?) blog. No promises.